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Art and About:John Isaacs on
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Beef Queen- Great American Song
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Diahna called me up just the other day.
I was hooked before I realized she was takin' a survey.
She said "don't hang up, would you stay on the line?
This will only take one minute of your time".
Well I was doing the dishes; I was sweepin' the floor,
Diahna caught me home I was doing the chores,
Oh for better or for worse I had other things to do,
But I said "okay Diahna I'll stay and talk to you".
Diahna… she was a telemarketeer,
She was rich with emotion but she had this questionnaire
She said "I'm from Indiana, how's the weather out there"?
And when she asked how I was feeling I could tell she really cared.
Diahna had some questions she still had a job to do
But she said "don't you worry honey you know we're almost through".
But then she caught me off guard when she asked me what I like to eat,
When I was driving on the through-way or walking in the street,
And my hunger was fast and I hadn't brought a thing,
Would I prefer the golden arches or a jaunt to Burger King?
And do I like a good deal? She had a coupon two for one.
And I said "okay Diahna, now we're having fun".
Well I started to giggle, I started to laugh, I said
"You're up the wrong tree; you're down the wrong path.
I'm a strict vegetarian, don't eat a cow nor calf
I'd rather stop and watch them grazing in the tall green grass".
She said "that's OK honey you can help me anyway,
I get paid for every form I fill, let's finish up this survey.
Don't you sometimes stop for chicken, fish or salted french-fries?
Or when you need to pee or need some gas or need to ditch some spies"?
I said "you'd better click on other, I'm neither yes nor no,
I always bring a snack along when I'll be on the go.
I'd rather exit the highway and drive that extra mile
to reach a small convenience store and see a mom and pop smile".
Well she started to giggle she started to laugh she said
"I'll have to call my manager I'll have to call the staff
We've met a whole lot of people some hang up and some refuse
But we've never met someone like you who'll stay and sing the blues…"
Well I'm driving back from Boston I've got Diahna on my mind
She e-mailed me her photo her face is soft and kind
And every 30 miles or so the golden arches re-appear
and suddenly my blinker's on and off the ramp I veer
And I find myself inside a million burgers sold each day
I walk up to the counter she says "how are you today"?
Well her nametag says Diahna you know I'm on a streak
This one's from Massachusetts she's the beef queen of the week
She was selling her cattle she was selling her steer
But when she asked how I was feeling I could tell she really cared
So I ordered up double I'll keep the lettuce hold the beef
I'm not threatened by the Ketchup but still I don't eat red meat.
Diahna she was a telemarketeer she was rich with emotion but she had this questionnaire
She said "I'm from Indiana how's the weather out there"?
But when she asked how I was feeling I could tell she really cared.